Desperate
by simsbabii
Summary: He is a sparkly vampire and she is a desperate girl. THEY are the antis, and she won't let them get to him. What will happen when THEY meet him? What about when Embry gets thrown into the mix? Rated T for swearing.


**OHEMGEE! I went to see New Moon with Eric, my totally not-Edward boyfriend. Eric didn't get why the vampires were so dreamy so I dumped my soda on him then dumped HIM.**

**So I decided to write my first ever Twilight fan fiction because the book is ~just that great~.**

**I don't own the ~sparkly~ saga known as Twilight. **

**I do own the OC, Seina. I threw her in here just because I had a feeling she would really ~love~ Edwardio if she ever read Twilight.**

**. . . **

"I don't get what's so great about them, Eric." Seina said, glaring over her sandwich at the table across the cafeteria.

"Me eiver. They 'ave no sese o ashion." Eric said his mouth full of apple. The black haired boy looked at his big brother, Troy, "ight?"

"Yeah." Troy paused, his chocolate bar halfway to his mouth, "Fuck. Princess Bella is coming."

"Hey Seina, Eric." The new comer lowered her voice, "Troy."

"Fuck off Bella." Troy growled.

Tears welled up in Bella's eyes. "OMG Edward!"

Said teenaged boy zipped over from his table of freaks. "Bella, are you hurt?"

Seina rolled her eyes and mocked the sappy look Bella gave Edward. Edward glared daggers at Seina, listening to all of the vulgar things she wished to shout at him. Troy's mind was running the same course. Eric… he was singing 'Party in the USA' in his head.

"No. Not yet, at least." Bella gave Edward another sappy look, and Seina expected her to begin salivating or something.

"Troy." Edward growled.

"Edwardio." Troy retorted, snapping a big chuck from his chocolate bar.

"What did you do to Bella?"

"He was coming on to me Edward!"

"You? I'd rather hug a tree, or worse, _sparkle._" Troy shuddered.

Troy obviously took this into offense because he did nothing. He walked away, leaving Bella standing there.

"Edward! No don't leave me please!" Bella sobbed, clutching at her heart.

"Drama queen." Seina scooped the remainder of her lunch into her paper bag –yeah- and walked away from the table.

Troy grabbed Eric's arm and dragged him away from the worthless waste of space known as Bella Swan.

**. . . . . **

Troy kicked a rock, and it bounced down the path and off the cliff into oblivion. Oblivion. That is where he wished, to the core of oblivion, the Cullens and that pathetic lump named Bella would go.

"Troy!" The blonde turned around to see his two friends running down the path, with a boy Troy didn't know.

"Who the hell is that?" He asked, meaning the boy being dragged by Seina.

"This, Troy, is Embry Call. He's my Quileute friend." Seina smiled.

"More like hostage if you ask me." Embry muttered.

"Anyways, he has a secret about the Cullens." Eric announced, not looking up from his PSP.

"Yes, and it will stay a secret. I can't tell anybody." Embry told them.

Seina was about to retort when a retched noise sounded from down the cliff. Troy's stomach flipped and he prepared to loose his lunch. The noise was Bella Swan's voice.

"No! Jacob I can't!" The revolting brunette cried, throwing her hand on her forehead dramatically.

"Why not Bella? Why won't you love me?" Jacob shouted.

Seina snickered at the scene. God these characters are pathetic.

"I love Edward, Jacob! Can't you tell by the way he abuses me and pushes me around all the time that we are made for each other?" Bella swooned.

"But Bella…" Jacob's lip quibbled.

Troy stood up and walked over two the two. "See you in hell bitches." Then he shoved them over the side of the cliff.

Embry spazzed out, running into the woods before he turned into a crazy wolf and disappeared. Seina stared, her eyes wide in surprise. "Fucking awesome dude! Did you see that? He turned into a dog!"

"Yeah. God, people here in Forks are spazzmatrons." Eric mumbled.

A split second later a shirtless, banana-headed guy was standing at the cliff.

"Is that Cullen?" Troy asked, staring hard at the boy.

The person turned to the three, confirming their fears. "Bella is dead. So now, I'll have to kill the person who killed her."

Edward flashed over to Eric, grabbed him, and flashed back. "Love us or you'll be damned to hell!"

"No! I'm too innocent to fall victim to you!" Eric flailed.

"Let go of my boyfriend right now or I swear to god I will kill you and your digitally-created abs, tear out your insides and feed the entrails to starving children in Guatemala!" Seina shrieked.

Just then, sunlight broke through the clouds, hitting Edward's bare skin. Troy watched with anticipation, expecting him to spontaneously combust or something. Instead, he sparkled.

Yes. These vampires sparkle.

Troy burst out laughing, "As if- as if I didn't – think you could get any gayer!"

Edward turned to Seina, "don't you find my sparkling body irresistible?"

"You? Irresistible? I'd rather watch Degrassi." Seina laughed.

Just then, all the glitter and gold and rainbows and unicorns that is the realm of Twilight shattered. The fabric of our world was shredded. The umbilical cord of our very existence was cut prematurely. The Steelers just lost the Super Bowl.

Edward, the being that all girls ages twelve and up pine for, exploded. Eric flew through the air and landed on his back.

"Is it dead?" He whispered.

"I think so." Seina smiled, "no, I know so."

**. . . **

"Yesterday was a very sad day. Millions of teenaged girls committed mass suicide. What urged them to do so is still unknown. In other news, have you seen these teens? They were reported missing early yesterday evening by Police Chief Charlie Swan of Forks, Washington."

Seina turned off the TV as the pictures of Edward, Bella and Jacob came up on the TV. She turned to her friends, "Eh, they were a waste of space."

And all was well in the universe.

**. . . **

**LOL. Did you TwiHards really think this was going to be so ~sparkly~ and ~irresistible~ as Twilight? Please. **

**Honestly, Eric and I both hate the books. We only went because we needed a romantic movie, and The Fourth Kind was sold out.**

**Please, flame me if you must. I don't care. **


End file.
